When We Go Drinking, We Shout About You: Another Brief Update

The new job is still eating away at my time, and at times, my soul. Blergh. I’m off today and tomorrow, but I’m leaving town with Mrs. Stay Heavy in a couple of hours for a wedding, and I won’t be back until tomorrow evening, and then I have to work at 6 AM Monday, so this is it as far as time goes for the next few days. My last update worked out well enough, so I figured I’d do another one like that, just in the interest of keeping up appearances. Without further ado, some songs I recall hearing since the last post (in no particular order):

I ignored the hype on Atlanta, Georgia’s Royal Thunder up until Wednesday morning, when I inexplicably woke up after 3 hours of sleep and decided on a whim to give them a listen. Suffice to say that I’ve been a damn fool, and that this song has been lodged firmly in my gray matter ever since. It evokes so many different influences and genres, yet manages to sound completely fresh and original. I’m convinced. Don’t miss out on this one.

I’ve still only heard one album from Irish thrashers Gama Bomb (2009’s Tales From the Grave In Space), but I absolutely fucking adore it. You can download it for free (and legally) here, so you have no excuses to not check it out.

San Pedro, California’s Minutemen were not a metal band, but they were sometimes heavy, and they fucking ruled, and you should listen to them. They’re perhaps best known for their song “Corona”, which was used as the opening theme from Jackass. Please don’t affiliate the band with that stupid show…they stopped being a band long before the show became a thing. Posted above is their 1981 debut album, The Punch Line, in its entirety. It’s 18 songs in 15 minutes, and it just might change your life.

Suicidal Tendencies at their best were so bloody phenomenal. The line “you wouldn’t know what crazy was if Charles Manson was eatin Froot Loops on your front porch” alone is worth the price of admission on this song (which, by the way, is $0.00 if you listen in the link above), but the rest of the song kicks major ass as well. In fact, I’ll go ahead and declare the entirety of the album (1990’s Lights…Camera…Revolution) to be utterly untouchable.

NYHC giants Sick of It All are fucking great, and arguments can be made for nearly all their albums, but for my money, 1994’s Scratch the Surface is their masterpiece. It’s the primary catalyst that got me into hardcore in the late 90’s. If you get a chance to see them live, fucking do it.

Iron Maiden’s massively underrated 1990 album No Prayer for the Dying gets positively shat upon by a large majority of fans, and by most of the band as well, but I think it’s a solid album. It’s obviously not as good as its precursor, 1988’s Seventh Son of a Seventh Son, but in my opinion it’s miles ahead of its follow-up, 1992’s Fear of the Dark, in nearly every way. Fear of the Dark has three great songs (the title track, “Afraid to Shoot Strangers”, and “Be Quick Or Be Dead”) and better production, but otherwise, it’s just not as good as No Prayer for the Dying. The point? “From Here to Eternity” is one of the less-than-great songs from Fear of the Dark, but it’s still better than a vast number of other songs in existence, because it’s Iron Fucking Maiden.

That’s all the time I got for today, kiddies. Stay heavy, always.

A Few Loose Ends

Clearing my brain a little.  It’s been too full lately.

Decibel magazine, which I (mostly) love, recently put out their annual year-end issue, with top albums and live shows, and what-have-you, and I just cannot understand how Exodus, Coffinworm, Overkill,  Today is the Day, and Rigor Mortis could all be absent from not only their Top 40 Extreme Albums of 2014, but from the “Top 5 Records That Tied For #41” sidebar as well.  And then to add insult to injury, those clowns in Mastodon are on the goddamn cover for the 293rd goddamn time.  Add to this the fact that the final edition of “Grinding it Out”, the monthly column by Kevin Sharp (Brutal Truth (RIP)/Venemous Concept/Primate/etc.) appeared within, and you’ve got the makings of a bummer of an issue.

So. Motherfucking. Good.

Despite all this, I wholeheartedly support Decibel, especially when the only real competition it has here in the colonies is Revovler, which I wouldn’t give Rush Limbaugh to wipe his fat, sweaty butt-crack.

This is what you get when you perform a Google Image search for the words "rush limbaugh butt crack".  I go the extra mile to bring the truth to you.  Source: http://www.iudexonline.com/rush-limbaugh-cartoon.html

This is what you get when you perform a Google Image search for the words “rush limbaugh butt crack”. Now you don’t have to Google it yourself. Source: http://www.iudexonline.com/rush-limbaugh-cartoon.html

I’m in the process of losing weight and getting in better shape, because I want to be able to walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded, and I’d like to live a while longer, thanks.  I still don’t know what to make of how dedicated I am to it.  I definitely need to get a better handle on my diet, but the exercise is usually enjoyable, and I’ve lost 15 pounds since I started going to Planet Fitness in mid-October.  The place gets some flack on the internet from people who are offended that they don’t allow you to work out there if you’re the kind of person who screams in the mirror and fantasizes about fucking yourself while you stare at your own muscles, but that’s one of the things I like about it.


There are some real chowderheads there, for sure, but I’m way more comfortable there than I would be at, like, Cardinal Fitness or whatever.  I’m working with a trainer (free to all members of PF) and doing all my exercises in accord with her plan, and I feel better, both mentally and physically, than I have in a long while.  I never used to understand people who enjoyed exercising, but I get it now.

“Joel, what the fuck has this got to do with heavy?”

Sorry, I was just getting to it.  Owning an old iPod (thanks to the incomparable Amy Miller) has made my time at PF tolerable as far as the music is concerned; when I go after work, the music they play is absurdly dumb.  Taylor Swift is the best it gets between the hours of noon-ish and sometime after 4:30, and that just will not do.  I’ve been earlier in the day a couple of times, and it’s mostly good (“Pump it Up” by Elvis Costello & the Attractions, “Right Here, Right Now” by Jesus Jones, heard a Pixies song once, though I forget which one), but I’d still rather listen to something of my own choosing.  I have intentions of putting together a workout playlist at some point, because lists get more views on this blog than anything else, and because I like making lists, but for now I’ll just mention that Agnostic Front’s legendary 1984 hardcore debut, Victim in Pain, followed by Agnostic Front’s oft-maligned crossover classic Liberty and Justice For…(1987) makes a pretty great stationary bike soundtrack, and Rollins Band’s Weight (1994) is a fine background for weight machines (see endnote *).

The lyrics are pretty damned inspirational.

Been listening to some stuff I still intend to write about eventually, not least of which is Gama Bomb’s Tales From the Grave in Space (2009), which I enjoy more than I’ve enjoyed any other release that I’ve heard from any other band from the New Wave of Thrash Metal, though I have admittedly heard very little of the stuff.  I like Municipal Waste well enough, but they invariably make me wanna listen to Nuclear Assault instead, and Toxic Holocaust does the same with Sodom.  Gama Bomb sounds different, and, for lack of a better word, “fresher”, and it doesn’t make me feel like reaching for another, more classic band.  Tales From the Grave in Space is the band’s third album, and is available for free download at earache.com/misc/downloads/gamabomb/.

It’s pretty tight.

Oh, and because I just happened upon them a little while ago, here are some pictures of the super-badass Exodus t-shirt I scored earlier this year:

This was somehow the least blasphemous t-shirt available at the Exodus merch booth that day.

This was somehow the least blasphemous t-shirt available at the Exodus merch booth that day.

That’s all for now, I think.  I’m gonna watch a movie.  You stay heavy, internet.

endnote *: I don’t get nearly so excited about Henry Rollins these days, but the man and his work still exist as in important layer in the foundation of the house of Joel, and I still think WeightCome in and Burn (1997), and The End of Silence (1992) are great (I don’t enjoy the stuff before and after as much, with a few exceptions).  Some other time, I’ll tell you about the two different times I met Henry Rollins.  The first time was very awkward, which is my way, and is much funnier in retrospect than the second time, which while it was happening seemed much less awkward than the first time, but is in fact much more awkward in retrospect .